someone help her
I guess you could say that’s a….. racist pig
if teenagers are ever being mean to you just pull out any miscellaneous item you have on you at the moment and make up some bullshit term to scare them
teenagers: we are going to punch you
me *pulling out spoon*: have you lot ever been Uncle Jimmied
teenagers: we are going to kick you
me *pulling out an electric toothbrush*: have you all ever experienced a Norwegian Christmas…
teenagers: we are going to unlawfully take your money
me *taking car keys out of my pocket*: say, have any of you ever had a Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch…….
teenagers: we are going to call you mean names
me *taking Costco brand pair of socks out of my purse*: it’s been a while since i gave someone a Tropic Of Capricorn………….
teenagers: we’re violent just for the fun of it !
me *microwaving a hard-boiled egg*: you’re all about to get a Matthew Broderick Jr.
teenagers: we are going to spread rumors about you
me *getting out my tube of rash cream*: don’t force me to give you a Chinese Whistling Garden
teenagers: we are about to physically assault you
me *pulling out cantaloupe*: seems like you rapscallions have never heard of the Screaming Astronaut
teenagers: we are going to commit felonies
me *pulling out handfuls of spaghetti*: I’m sorry you all have to experience the Kansas Turnpike …
teenagers: i am preparing to steal an automotive vehicle
me *taking out a roll of dental floss*: keep this sort of behavior up and you’re going to get the Rick Astley’s Crochet
teenagers: i plan to do acts of physical hooliganism!
me *takes a Bop It out of my pocket*: I don’t normally do this but I’ll enjoy giving you a North Carolina Senator G.K. Butterfield
if theres a day i dont reblog this assume i died
“We’re going to explore the outside world someday, right? Far beyond these walls, there’s flaming water, land made of ice, and fields of sand spread wide. It’s the world my parents wanted to go to.
“
Anyone who thinks Shakespeare is boring apparently missed the greatest stage direction ever written:
I want that to be the final line of my biography.
let’s not forget about this gem from macbeth
How Kpop Groups Would Wake You Up In the Morning
- EXO: Play classical music in the background and thrust in your face as Chanyeol does chogiwa adlibs
- Block B: Kick your door open and scream until you wake up
- GOT7: Jackson screams "dab of the morning to ya" as the 7 members come in with a naenae whip and dab medley
- BTS: Min Yoongi rubs his freshly shaved legs against your skin and whispers bultaoreune in your ear then the rest of the group comes in doing the running man challange accompanied with Jhope's screaming
- SHINee: start dancing ring ding dong on your bed
- Big Bang: GD does an r&b rendition of fantastic baby while Taeyang strips on your floor
- Monsta X: body rolls to your room until u can hear Jooheon's screaming
- NCT: *Mark plays the 10h ver of that's a long ass ride*
- Seventeen: Mingyu sneezes on his hand and rubs it on your face
- Super Junior: Ryeowook starts ranting about how much he hates Siwon until u get up
- B.A.P: Zelo grinds on your floor as Daehyun screams high notes all over your room until yongguk comes to collect his children
- VIXX: Neck chops you to death
- Ikon: Junhoe screams at you to get your rasty ass from bed as the rest jump on your bed and break it
